“Hot damn safety net that I am” – Bug Hunter

Looking at my bare feet above, thinking it’s about what/who grounds you. We all need a safety net and of course you are a safety net for others too. So let’s dive into how to get an overview, how mine changed over time and how to make that change.

My historic safety net

When I was in-patient in Altscherbitz my group got the task to write down our social net. It was one of the most difficult ones for me, cause I felt so lonely at that time. But still I convinced my mother to not come visit me there. She had a lot going on with buying a house. Also I think I somehow thought it would be more mature to do therapy on my own.

So there I had this piece of paper and couldn’t think of people. But after I while I managed to get some names in nearly each section. It felt great looking at it and thinking: “I’m actually not that alone”.

But, still it felt a little empty. During and after my time there I started to reach out. I even tried to do new things and actively try to (re)connect with people. But I the following time I moved two times within Leipzig. Then back to Baden-Württemberg to my mother and now I live in my own apartment.

Current safety net

Of course it changed a lot with the living situation trough the years. With this visualization I started to continually grow it. Last month I made a new list. Just to remind myself how lucky I am to have spread my safety net a lot. It constantly changes with every new experience and that’s good. And it’s okay when people leave the list. But now I also have the confidence to even write down old acquaintances that I’m friendly but not friends with.

//PS: I forgot so much family. Sorry. They weren’t present in my messengers for a long time, so it feels like there not part of my life right now. But that can change any day.

Evaluation of the safety net

How does your safety net look like? Do you feel safe, lost or exhausted?

Here are the questions we got to ask our self in the group therapy back in 2018:

• Which relationships support and strengthen you?
• What open spaces or hot spots do you see?
• How did your safety net change over the years?
• What changes do you want to induce?

When you feel lost, try this exercise and try it again later like me. On paper not in your head to really keep track 🙂
And just reach out to people it can be scary but worth it.

Summary

34 of the people mentioned above will be at my garden/3.0 party this month. More than 1,5 years ago I decided to throw a big 30th birthday party in the summer. I was born in the winter, but don’t have the space inside for that many people. I’m very excited about it, some will come a long way and stay over night. And I had so many cool days with the near by people. For example I got picked up with a tractor from Sepp for a trip trough the black forest and lunch.

Why can people ground you? It’s because of the feelings, thoughts, sensation, smell, taste, sound and what we see. So think about what you experience when you have contact with the person. And not only people can ground us, other things as well. For example for it’s as simple as walking/sitting/laying barefoot in the grass.

Stay tuned. Stay curious. Stay healthy.