The four sides of the medal – My schizoaffectivness
The first time I heard the diagnosis schizoaffective disorder in 2021, I started to inform myself what that means. In my understanding at that time bipolar and schizophrenia each was classified in two symptom groups. Beginning in July that year, I started to bounce back and forth between states. So I began to write down what helps in which situation.
In this spreadsheet are the symptoms I do or have experienced as part of my disorder. Of course every body and mind is different, so the same diagnosis can feel and be perceived very different. What I want to show is, that it can be helpful to reflect on oneself.
| Mania/hypomania (bipolar) | Positive Symptoms (schizophrenia) (everything that is added to your perception) |
| – Sleep/Eat way to less mostly due to joyful anticipation of the future. – Light flashes when trying to sleep. – Racing thoughts. – Impulsivity. – Feeling like having internal tremor. – Faster metabolism (Vit. B deficiency, fast Melatonin depletion). – Hyperactive, creative and energetic – Grandiose self-esteem – Memory impairments | – Delusions (of grandeur) – Paranoia (persecution complex, not in a scary way, but feeling most important and protected) – Ego disorder (thinking everyone knows everything about me) – Auditory hallucinations like thinking there is music playing in the next room or people talking about me on the other side of a wall (only during psychosis) – Disorganized thinking – Concentration/attention impairments |
| Depression (bipolar) | Negative Symptoms (schizophrenia) (lack of things in the perception) |
| – Sleep/Eat way to much – No interest in hobbies – Poor motivation – Lack of proper hygiene – Impaired social functioning (isolation) – Low self-esteem – Difficulty paying attention | – No emotional responsiveness (talking like a robot) – Less communication/affection skills – Walking like a robot – Restless/need to move but can’t do complicated things like riding a bike |
I must say that often the symptoms are categorized as behavioral, physical, cognitive and psycho-social and not like I did. But cause the phases are coming in sinus waves I wanted to learn what to expect and how to cope. so here’s what I wrote down:
| Mania/hypomania (bipolar) | Positive Symptoms (schizophrenia) |
| – My Medication: Lithium as mood stabilizer, Melantonin or Chlorprothexin with the side effect of tiredness. Supplemented with Vitamin B. – “4-7-8” breathing technique to get out of my head and into my body awareness. – Progressive Muscle Relaxation – Exercises to connect with my environment (visualizing colored things and concentrating on sounds). – outdoor mediation – audio book/meditation to sleep. – to get back down hear quite music or loop the song “Joy! Joy! JoooOOY! by the narcissist cookbook“. | – My Medication: Olanzapin as antipsychotic, Chlorprothexin as antipsychotic. – Reason, Logic, Rational Meta-Cognitive Training Card: Ask the questions: What is the evidence? Other perspectives? Even if I am right – am I overreacting? – Find music that helps you to stay grounded and think of other things. – Humor – laugh with me about the absurd thoughts. – No light, phone or activities at night. – Autogenous training – Think it over, wait till the next day before doing anything. |
| Depression (bipolar) | Negative Symptoms (schizophrenia) |
| – My Medication Lithium and Vitamin D3+K2. – Just do everything anyway. – Start conversations between my adult self and the child in me. – Talk/Meet other people. – Playlist with songs about depression and feeling better with it, here’s mine: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/BugBedBeing – For flashbacks/discomfort: smell something nice, drink tea/milk with honey, exercise, comfort food | – Stay connected to people by talking about it – Challenging myself with Rubiks Cubes and table tennis – Do some workout – Progressive Muscle Relaxation – Set reminders for hygiene – Engage in enjoyable activities – Writing in a journal and coloring mandalas – Maintain healthy relationships |
In any case of symptoms occurring to long and being to much:
- Getting the The five basic elements together
- Don’t forget: Normal+Additional medication combined with Melantonin, Vitamins and herbal products
- Reach out to support network
1. family, friends
2. primary care doctor, psychiatrist
3. If necessary ask 116 117 about emergency clinics and doctors
4. When you can’t drive anymore 112
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Like always, I’m happy if you get in touch.
Stay tuned. Stay curious. Stay healthy.
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